• The Story of My Ring Finger Tan Line

     

    Hi there, stranger. My name is Laura, and I am the voice behind Ring Finger Tan Line.

    On my 7th birthday, I discovered my passion for writing. I asked my parents for a typewriter because I thought it would make me an authentic author. I then proceeded to shut myself in my room and compose lengthy narratives on boys in bubbles and snowmen without arms.

    Really, no one should be surprised at how strange I’ve turned out to be.

    Since nobody bought the publishing rights to “Bubble Boy Meets Armless Frosty,” I ended up going to school for business. Then, I went to business school (yes, those are different). These days, I work in media marketing in the beautiful New York City.

    I fell into blogging in 2011, right after I ended my seven month marriage. That was a turning point in my life, and by no means an easy decision. But when you find hotel room receipts, dating website profiles, credit card charges for fancy restaurants you’ve never been to, pictures, text messages, and every other horrifying piece of evidence that a wife never wants to find – you have a choice to make. We went to counseling. We went to a retreat. I agonized for two months over what to do. But in the end, it was clear that he wasn’t ready to stop the cheating. And so I left.

    I was 24 years old, freshly betrayed, and painfully alone – both physically and mentally. I spent days scouring the internet for a forum post, a blog, anything that spoke to me. A sign that somewhere out there, there was just one person who understood exactly what I was going through. And I never found it. So with a push from my loved ones, I started to write. I poured it all out – the good, bad, and crazy – and put it here. And Ring Finger Tan Line was born.

    Since its inception, this blog has become so much more than a place to store my thoughts. It’s a cookbook. It’s a database of fashion and beauty and fun. It’s social commentary. It’s photography. It’s a story. It’s a journey. And there’s a lot of bacon along the way, so join me.

    70 Responses to The Story of My Ring Finger Tan Line

    1. December 12, 2011 at 9:41 pm

      Wow. I came by your site via “that precarious gate”.
      All I can say is not all of us are like that. His behavior is sickening and I’ll bet he is deeply insecure internally.
      Good luck
      Peace to you.

      • February 3, 2012 at 8:25 pm

        I certainly hope I find one who isn’t like that sometime soon :) Thanks for stopping by!

    2. December 13, 2011 at 5:58 pm

      This breaks my heart! It makes me feel like an idiot for complaining about my break ups. I can’t imagine going through what you went through. A similar thing happened to a good friend of mine. The whole online dating thing is scary because so many guys stay on it after they get married. :-( Hang in there! I’m excited to keep reading your posts!

      • February 3, 2012 at 8:26 pm

        It is a terrible ordeal to go through, but believe I will come out stronger. After a prolonged phase of borderline alcoholism and rampant sex, that is ;)

        • sarino
          March 3, 2013 at 2:03 pm

          what beauty! you hang in there, guys would be standing in line for soemeone like you. witty, pretty, and creative! oh, i meant me, not you! LOL really, you are something special. good luck to you.

    3. December 14, 2011 at 5:11 pm

      Wow…. I’m so sorry you had to go through that! Best of luck in life & love!

      • February 3, 2012 at 8:27 pm

        Thanks! Life is treating me very well right now. So blessed with amazing, supportive friends who are willing to hire hit men to fend off my ex.

    4. January 5, 2012 at 9:02 pm

      I’m sorry to hear your ex is an idiot. You obviously are not and deserve much, much, better. That’s kind of the cool thing about life. We think we know what we want and when it falls apart we’re devastated. What’s cool about that? Well, typically, and I will even venture out and say that 99% of the time when something like that happens, it’s God’s way of mucking the manure out of the barn and cleaning it up fresh and new for something better to move in. Good luck to you! Happy I found your blog and will enjoy watching you grow! ~April

      • February 3, 2012 at 8:29 pm

        Thank you so much for your kind words! I look forward to finding my TRUE love one day and enjoying the journey before I do :)

    5. Verna
      January 6, 2012 at 5:19 pm

      This really suks. You will find a decent guy, don’t worry.

    6. January 10, 2012 at 6:59 pm

      You poor thing. I truly believe everything happens for a reason and you will come out a shining star! I love your blog and can see you have many talents, totally his loss! Best of luck to you.

      • February 3, 2012 at 8:30 pm

        Haha, thank you! Keep the flattery coming, I don’t mind it one bit ;)

    7. January 15, 2012 at 1:59 pm

      Sucks this happened. We men are pigs, I know. However, the bright side is you were not so deep into a relationship/marriage that it would have been an epic split.

      Not that I have any illusions this helps in any way…

      • February 3, 2012 at 8:31 pm

        Haha you are right… you men can be total pigs ;)

        I am so grateful that no children were involved. And that I got custody of the babies we did have- the dogs

    8. January 20, 2012 at 9:28 am

      Good morning! I’ve nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award. If you would like to participate, you can go here to see the rules. http://gluten-free-zen.com/2012/01/20/the-best-things-about-blogging/

      • February 3, 2012 at 8:31 pm

        Thank you so much!!! So honored :) Will make a post about this as soon as I get more free time, haha

    9. January 24, 2012 at 11:20 am

      That’s awful. My ex was on dating sites and meeting up with other women, too.

      Awww…cute pups!

      • February 3, 2012 at 8:32 pm

        Good to know I am not the only one! Men suck, huh?

        And my pups are my pride and joy :)

    10. January 25, 2012 at 3:28 pm

      I’m so very sorry that this happened to you. But you are lucky to be a 24-year old divorcee instead of a 34-year old one like me. Consider it a gift (I know it doesn’t seem like one now) that you found out before committing the best years of your life and bringing children into the world with this man. Good luck, and I can’t wait to follow along with your journey!

      • February 3, 2012 at 8:33 pm

        Amen- so glad I did not have children with him yet. That was actually the reason that gave me the strength to leave him for good: I can deal with the consequences of staying for myself, but I can’t deal with putting my children through anything like this.

    11. Katrin
      February 10, 2012 at 2:08 pm

      I feel with you, poor girl! But let me assure you that one day you’ll find your Mr. Perfect who will treat you like a princess – as you deserve it! About 3 years I found out by pure chance that my boyfriend at that time (with whom I’d been living together for over 1 year then) had an about 1-year old son with another woman. I left him immediately – and can now say that this was the best thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life because about one year later I got to know my Mr. Right!
      So, hang on – and thank you for your blog! Love it :)

    12. rmv
      February 13, 2012 at 12:20 pm

      i’m sorry for the things that happened to you, but look on the bright side…

      i’ll get back to you on that.

      anyway, i found your blog by accident, and i like your “voice,” so don’t be surprised (or annoyed) if you’re seeing random comments from me about some of your older posts. i like to find new writers and crawl through their posts to see what they have to say.

      have a great day,
      rich

    13. rmv
      February 13, 2012 at 12:21 pm

      also, that picture at the top, those black shoes. are they yours? fabulous shoes.

    14. February 15, 2012 at 2:03 pm

      Oh, I follow your blog :) I have read your posts in the “blogs I follow” section, but never clicked in to your blog. I think you’re a very good writer, It makes me want to read more..

    15. February 19, 2012 at 12:26 am
      • February 21, 2012 at 10:08 am

        Thank you so much!!! I will need to make a post about this soon- I am so backlogged with material!

    16. February 21, 2012 at 3:26 am

      Just stumbled on your blog……wow you have been through it….. what a pig…. you are better off without him….you are a great writer and I look forward to reading more. Hang in there and enjoy your life.

      • February 21, 2012 at 10:32 am

        Thank you! Yes, I am finally starting to realize that I deserve better. Let’s hope I find it :)

        • February 21, 2012 at 3:16 pm

          You will find it….. I have recently come out of a 15 year marriage…..I have found happiness beyond words….there is someone else out there for you and you so deserve to find him….be lucky….

    17. February 23, 2012 at 5:11 pm

      How awful! I got divorced when I was 28 (like you, the circumstances didn’t really give me much of a choice), but I’ve since remarried to the most wonderful guy in the world. It might not happen overnight, but it will happen, and you’ll be amazed at your newfound strength and resilience!

    18. February 24, 2012 at 9:19 am

      I had a 3 week marriage annulled. I feel you pain! Hang in there. And be very, very choosy!

    19. February 25, 2012 at 1:41 pm

      Oh…my…gosh. :-|

      What a coniving scumbag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      (On a lighter note it is nice to meet you :D Following your blog now. Now you have one more supporter!!)

    20. March 5, 2012 at 4:55 am

      Your blog is amazing i hope you get through this difficult stage in your life. You are very beautiful and i’m sure one day you will find true happiness. The fact that you had the power to leave him in the first place is huge some of us are incapable of doing so :(
      im following you and i will share your blog as it is a great read.
      xxxx

    21. March 7, 2012 at 4:03 pm

      I decided to follow this blog, because I think your journey will be interesting…and successful!

    22. March 16, 2012 at 9:27 pm

      I’ve nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award! Click here to find out what to do http://adorablycaffeinated.wordpress.com/2012/03/16/hey-mom-look-im-versatile/ and thanks for being awesome :)

    23. April 13, 2012 at 6:04 pm

      It’s me again i just wanted to say what a pleasure it is to read your blog every other day!! Oh and tell you that since you put up the article about crisps with chocolate i have put on at least 2kg!!!!
      xxxx

      • Ring Finger Tan Line
        April 16, 2012 at 10:24 am

        Hahahahah sorry to put weight on you! Aren’t they delicious, though??

    24. April 16, 2012 at 5:39 am

      Hey, I came across your blog through Creativenoodling. Interesting. You might enjoy ours: mysexlifewithlola.com At least it will get you through those long nights when you’re too tired to bake.

      HH

    25. Andy L.
      June 15, 2012 at 1:01 am

      Came across your blog through pinterest. Someone pinned one of your recipes, and I have literally been visiting when I can, and reading through some of your older posts. It is unfortunate what happened to you, and I understand where you are coming from. I am 23 years old man and recently just got out of a 3 1/2 year relationship, and found out my ex had been cheating on me for more than 15 months. But I do like you do, go through everyday with a smile one my face, and always have some flour and eggs in my kitchen. Life after those exes are so much better, especially with chocolate. ;)

      Looking forward to reading your newer posts. Good luck with everything.

      • Ring Finger Tan Line
        June 20, 2012 at 9:40 am

        So glad you found me! Thanks for stopping by :)

        Such a shock when your life changes like that. I hope you are doing well with everything! Try salted caramel. Always improves my mood!

    26. September 26, 2012 at 6:48 am

      I’ve nominated you for a Lovely Blog Award. :) I’ve loved following your progress this year…and enjoy the “food porn” pictures you post! Yum!!

      • Ring Finger Tan Line
        September 29, 2012 at 6:49 pm

        Thank you so much!! I am so glad to have people who have been following since the start. You guys have been such a big help in my recovery and you don’t even know it!

    27. Cheryl Soh
      October 5, 2012 at 5:26 am

      Hello! im alllllll the way from Singapore and stumbled upon your blog because i googled cupcakes and it seems you have an interesting collection of comfort food recipes! and before i know it, i was hooked onto your other posts, besides food.
      You are such a great blogger! your posts are so funny and extremely relatable! and seeing you journeyed through from your first posts here to the latest one on, i can see you are certainly well-off and better without your ex. truthfully. look at you now!

      Keep up the great work blogging. Food, books, dating, sex advice, shoes whatever, i’m following this blog! =)

      • Ring Finger Tan Line
        October 5, 2012 at 11:07 am

        Thank you so much! It’s comments like this that really keep me going on my blog. It has been such a huge part of my recovery process! Thanks for reading!

    28. Alex
      November 13, 2012 at 11:40 am

      Hi Laura!
      I just wanted to say I stumbled upon your blog because I was on some site and the picture of the baked rigatoni came up and I was like omg..I started drooling!! Anyways..its funny how things happen cause I loved your tag line..”maybe Ill be better at blogging then marriage..or maybe Ill just eat some chocolate!!” Love it. I am only 3 months separated/in the divorce process after a 1 year marriage in which I found out my husband was having an affair. I am 29. All i can say is I totally relate to you…I would say Im still in the rampant sex and chocolate addiction phase but I know life goes on and your blog is so inspiring and Im loving it! Oh, and as much as I wish it had never happened to you, sometimes it feels good to know you’re not alone.

      • Ring Finger Tan Line
        November 15, 2012 at 3:17 pm

        You know, the rampant sex and chocolate phase is not a bad one. I miss it sometimes. Enjoy it :) And welcome! I am so glad you found me!

    29. Allison
      November 29, 2012 at 7:43 am

      Hi Laura,
      I just commented on your amazing after thanksgiving sandwich and pinned it to my “Got to Try it ” Board. I have been enjoying browsing through your website and am really enjoying myself here. You have indeed created a special place and I am glad to have stumbled upon it. Your picture is lovely by the way. I look forward to visiting here more often.
      Take care,
      Allison

    30. kim
      December 24, 2012 at 9:01 am

      I was struck by your by-line: ”Maybe I’ll be better at blogging than marriage…” – well dear Laura, it seems to me that one who was bad at marriage wasn’t you! You are absolutely stunning. You have so much to look forward to – so, as a happy-go-lucky, optimistic Sagittarius… I say be happy it was only seven months. It’ll feel like a pimple to you when you are old and grey, rocking on your porch. Something that you didn’t expect, was messy to pop, stung and lingered for a bit longer than it should have!

      Cheers to you. Keep blogging. Keep smiling!
      kim
      montreal

    31. December 24, 2012 at 4:48 pm

      Hi Laura, I came across your blog thru Pinterest and I instantly became intrigued. I became recently separated almost two years ago from my husband. He wasn’t cheating that I know of but techinically was with drugs. We have a 5 year old and he was arrested and we left. I haven’t started dating again yet but have jumped in the “I gotta satisfy my needs field” if you know what I mean. And boy has it been great! lol I am glad to know that I am not the only one out there trying to feel normal again. I am going to continue to follow you and read what you have to say! Thank you!
      Brooke

    32. Emily
      January 4, 2013 at 12:14 pm

      Your blog is fucking amazing. That is all.

    33. April
      February 14, 2013 at 9:43 am

      So I came upon your blog via a Pinterest recipe and I am so glad that I did! For the last 10 minutes I have been laughing out loud at just about every posting. Keep up the great work and you now have one more follower! (though not in that creepy follow you home way)

      BTW, I am from Austin area also!

    34. Pat
      April 11, 2013 at 11:15 am

      I found your blog via a recipe on Pinterest… immediately hooked on the BBQ onion-grilled cheese but even more on your writing style – love it.
      I was married to the same kind of jerk – good for you leaving him. And, like the person above I’ll be reading your blog too – because we all need a good laugh now and then.
      Thanks

    35. Mary
      June 1, 2013 at 6:07 pm

      Hi Laura,
      I saw your article in Cosmo and had to start reading your blog. I am 33 and was married for 7 years to the love of my life, or so I thought. We met when we were 21, each had good, respectable jobs and obviously the next step was marriage. Marriage is one of the hardest things to be in especially if the other person on the other end isn’t going to contribute to it. My husband came home one night and said he didn’t want to be married anymore. He said his heart wasn’t in it . Of course I asked if he was cheating on me( he was name dropping a co-workers name for a few months), he said no, of course. We were divorced in 2 weeks, my head was still spinning. We didn’t have kids, but he did leave me with a heafty mortgage. Fast forward a couple months later and the whole story began to unwind. Not only did he cheat on me, but they were living together, I found pictures of them together when we were married and he had lied about everything. Its been a very difficult year and it just got harder. They got engaged a couple months ago( they didn’t tell anyone until this week), he gave her a ring that his mother had given me( I returned it), they are getting married this month and shes pregnant. This week was as hard as him leaving me. I do have an amazing man in my life who I truly believe is my one true love, but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t been hard. Its like climbing a mountain. Some days its so high and hard and you slip, but other days you make it to the top and have the best view. Best of luck in your life. Love will sure come your way. God bless.

    36. June 23, 2013 at 5:34 pm

      I just recently stumbled across your blog, and I must say, I love it. Your writing makes me feel like I’m hanging out listening to one of my girlfriends. I am definitely a fan!

      xxx

      Keep writing

    37. Jenn
      July 19, 2013 at 4:08 pm

      Rejection makes the heart grow…nah, that ain’t it. He doesn’t give us what we can’t kill? Nope, that’s all wrong…You’re so pretty he’s a damn fool! Yep, that’s the ticket!

    38. MissCC
      August 4, 2013 at 3:49 pm

      I stumbled on your blog today while searching for something to relate to. I am 27 and my marriage ended 2 and a half months ago. The pain has been unbearable at times but I’m also starting to see the positives of a future without my ex and your blog has made me feel so strong and inspired. Thank you so much – a beautifully written blog that really has lifted my spirits xxx

    39. Theresa
      October 20, 2013 at 11:46 am

      Spent my weekend reading your blog. Heartbreaking, hilarious & making my mouth water all at the same time. Glad you are doing better these days! Rooting for you!! (Also fangirling and following you on all other social networks- don’t judge me it’s like were friends now…sort of)

      • Laura
        October 22, 2013 at 9:01 pm

        Welcome!!! Glad you found me :) And there is no shame in fangirling!

    40. KB
      October 27, 2013 at 12:01 am

      I went through a similar thing. He even had a kid with someone and tried to put all the blame on me. He drained the bank account and left me homeless while I was seriously ill. Turns out he was living a lie from day one and divorce is the best thing that could have happened to me, despite the hell of going through the process. Better days are ahead. Glad I ran across your blog.

    41. Brooklynnn
      November 10, 2013 at 9:58 pm

      I came upon your blog from a link on Pinterest and Ive spend the past two hours reading all your posts. I too am very young and recently divorced. My marriage lasted only 13 months and I can relate to everything you speak about, (minus the cheating part…that I know of) The sadness of realizing that what you thought you had, was never really there. I will continue to check out your work! Just wanted you to know that you’ve touched a spot in my heart and I am thankful that you were able to put into words the feelings and thoughts that I never was. I hope you can find true happiness and love one day!

    42. Nicole
      November 22, 2013 at 8:54 am

      Wow, I honestly felt like the only one. I’m 25 and freshly divorced as of July (is a fist bump appropriate here??) I’m hanging in but it’s odd to think of me being out in the “world” on my own. My ex was my first boyfriend and husband so there’s that terrifying factor :p Thanks for the whole you’re not alone feeling. Def bookmarking your blog!

    43. December 4, 2013 at 3:52 pm

      I must admit a tad bit of jealousy of the sheer BRILLIANCE of your blog title. Especially since I have recently lost my own tan line (helps to be pale) anyway, I’m now going to consume in great quantities all of your archives so that I can giggle, sigh and otherwise go “Oh thank goodness I’m not alone.” Thank you for writing it down, because I can truly say I’m super duper grateful to see ladies who have survived speaking out.

      • Laura
        December 5, 2013 at 7:41 pm

        Thank you! So glad you feel less alone :)

    44. dee stradd
      February 1, 2014 at 11:15 am

      Better sooner than later – no kids involved to really tangle things up, that’s got to be a positive. As much of a blessing as children are, it does complicate your life immensely to be a single mom dealing with a jack-ass ex while trying to protect & nurture the little one(s).
      Consider what you’ve learned about yourself in the process – however much of a creep he was, you can never know his motivations, his insecurities, his true jack-assedness, only your own. Be brutally honest with yourself – why you were attracted to him in the first place, why you were willing to even consider staying with him – that’s the information really worth knowing.
      How did you get a tan line in 7 months?

    45. February 15, 2014 at 1:23 pm

      You are an inspiration.

      No, literally.

      After having found your blog a month ago, I finally got up the courage to start my own. Thank you for writing.

      • Laura
        February 15, 2014 at 7:05 pm

        I read the story on your blog, and I’m so sorry to hear about what you’re going through. I remember feeling that everything in my universe was ruined, and I didn’t have anything valuable anymore. Right now, there will probably be “bad days” and “terrible days,” but over time the bad days will turn to good and the terrible to just bad. So glad you found me and stay strong… I’m rooting for you! xo Laura

    46. Allison
      March 24, 2014 at 10:56 am

      Hi Laura,

      I was really taken by your story and your blog.

      I work in development at Tricon Films and Television and would like to jump on the phone with you.

      Let me know if you are free today.

      Thanks

      Allison

    47. Shawn
      April 2, 2014 at 9:29 pm

      Found you from 25 delicious breakfast hacks.

      The egg muffins are great !!

      Thanks

    48. JC
      April 16, 2014 at 6:05 pm

      Laura- I stumbled across your blog after googling “life after divorce in your 20′s”. I am currently smack dab in the middle of finding out I was cheated on after only being married a year and a half. At 28 years old I’m balancing feeling like my life plan has completely been thrown off track and getting up every morning with a smile on my face and love in my heart for what comes next. Just wanted to say THANK YOU for writing such an honest and inspiring blog. In our moments of weakness where we feel most lost- sometimes it is a stranger that can give us hope and you have done that for me.

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