As of the time I am writing this post, my bed, couch, knives, pans, towels, shower curtain and other important objects have not yet been delivered to the new apartment in New York City. And as much fun as it is drying myself off with paper towels after a shower, I am getting a little impatient. In a related story, I can think of one moving company that’s getting a huge kick in the ass Yelp-style later.

But even though my kitchen has not yet arrived, I just couldn’t wait. I had to make something – anything. Let’s all take a moment to act surprised that “anything” turned out to be a block of cheese.

Yes – what you see here is a lovely, scrumptious baked brie. And if I can make it in a drip pan using plastic knives to butter the phyllo and a blanket as an oven mit, you can make it, too.

If you can’t, there may be no hope for you.

I’m sorry.

It’s better that you know.

If you’ve never made baked brie before, you are really missing out on the easiest form of party dish that there is. Or in my case, dinner dish, since I am alone and have no parties to go to.

You can always use puff pastry instead of phyllo dough, or substitute the raspberry jam for any other kind of jam, or caramelized onions, or spiced nuts, or just about anything delicious you can think of. It’s seriously difficult to fuck this up. I’d just be impressed if you could.

Baked Brie

Ingredients:

• 1 wedge or wheel of brie
• 4-5 sheets phyllo dough
• 1/4 c butter, melted (or very, very softened if you have no bowls to melt it in like me)
• 4 Tbsp raspberry jam

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350. Butter a phyllo sheet and place a new, fresh phyllo sheet on top of the butter. Butter the top of this one, place a fresh one on top, and continue until you’ve buttered them all. Place the brie in the center of the phyllo and top it with raspberry jam. Wrap the brie in the phyllo (I twisted it in the center to get a flower-looking top). Brush the outside with butter so that it browns nicely. Bake for about 15 minutes, then switch to the broiler for 5 minutes to brown the top.

UPDATE: My things have finally “arrived” in the very loosest sense of the word. I’d like to thank my movers for being the most enormous of dickwads. Debating whether they merit their own separate post for being such a special kind of stupid.

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