Since my annulment, I have been wary of telling men that I am 24 and have already been married. Unless, of course, my objective is to get them to jump out of the restaurant’s bathroom window and immediately move to Cuba.
Admittedly, if you are a young, strapping fellow searching for his fairytale princess, dating a young divorcée may not be the sugar-coated love story you’ve been looking for. But hey, it can come with a whole lot more sex.
Keep in mind that individual variation may occur, and you can throw this entire list in the trash if she has kids, because that’s a totally different ball game. But from my chats with other young divorcées and women who just got out of serious relationships, I have found that for better or worse, we share a few common traits.
1. The Hormones
The young divorcée is a curious specimen, indeed. She has usually been in a serious relationship with one man for most of her adult life. As is the case with me, this man may have been her very first boyfriend and sexual partner. During the lovey-dovey time of newlywed bliss, this young lady has shamed herself into suppressing her natural curiosity about what it would be like with someone else.
After a breakup or divorce, she must properly mourn the loss of her partner. Then, she must spend some quality time with her Netflix account and local Chinese take-out joint, until she can go into public without crying into her beer.
Once this phase is complete, she will be fully prepared to down an extra drink at the bar and jump on any man who looks mildly attractive in dim lighting, and is willing to tolerate her flailing limbs and vodka breath. You may judge her for this, but give her a break, people. She may be sleeping with men at an accelerated rate, but she still hasn’t caught up with most women her age.
So in relation to dating this young divorcée, the hormones have two sides. On one hand, you may be dating a woman whose mood swings will convince you that she’s gone menopausal at the age of twenty-four. On the other hand, you’ll also have a woman who suggests you do it in the elevator. Twice.
2. The Commitment Issues
If a woman who just got divorced is rushing into a serious relationship, it could be a red flag. A flag that reads “I am not ready for this, but I will cling to you until you pry my cold, dead hands away.” Lucky for you, this is generally not the case.
The young divorcée has likely spent years wondering what it’s like to be with other men. If you met her soon after the fallout, do you really think she is ready to settle down with you? You may be the world’s finest dish, but newsflash: she’s headed for the buffet. And until she has found herself and dated enough men to understand what she truly wants, you’ll likely be put on the backburner.
So if you’re looking for something exclusive and serious, this may not be your cup of tea. But if you’re looking for a lady who doesn’t have a Pinterest board dedicated to your future wedding after three dates, have some patience and the young divorcée could be your dream come true.
3. Views on Character
Regardless of how her marriage ended, the young divorcée is likely to be wary of others. Whether he or she did something wrong, she knows that people can fuck it up. As a result, she will probably not trust you. Not in exchange for dinner, not after sex, and probably not even when you exchange keys. She will eventually come around, but until then, you’ve got an uphill climb with a SmarteCarte full of baggage, my friend.
On the bright side, think about this: someone else has already asked this woman to be his wife. People generally don’t propose to shitty girlfriends. Whoever this man was saw all the qualities of a great wife, mother, and lover in her. He may not be the one to benefit from these anymore, but why shouldn’t you? Take a chance and be patient, because she may be worth it.